[gremlin time comes when she discovers that this thing has games...don't accept any Words With Friends invites from her in the future unless you want to experience having your soul crushed anew, Eren.]
That one?
[the hell does she look like, a technician gem? well, considering that the person asking was a human...she probably did. the thought's amusing, like having a toddler mistake you for a princess just because your dress was fancy; Lapis even provides a half-smile without realizing as she does her best to explain.]
It's an information database - although it looks like they merged it with communications on this one.
[she taps the icon to activate it, indicating with one of her delicate fingers the search bar on the default homescreen.]
If you need to know something, just type it in here and you'll probably get an answer. But...anyone can add to it, so some of the stuff that shows up is kind of weird.
[Lapis has been going over her communicator with a fine tooth comb since receiving it, so she knows exactly what to pull up as an example. a few taps in the browser brings them to an extremely bizarre video featuring a native gem, posted to a sharing site with no apparent context and extreme popularity.
her gaze shifts up to Eren, clearly as mystified as she expects him to be. yeah, it's...yeah. don't ask her to explain this one because she doesn't have a goddamn clue.]
[ so that's both interesting as it is complicated— a place where anyone can say anything meant that the truth wasn't always as accessible as they made it out to be. that, or you'd just have to carefully filter your sources. still— it looked like a useful crutch. armin would have a field day with this . . .
when the video comes up, eren's firstly perplexed because it's a video. photos, sure, but moving pictures were another level not even the rest of the world had reached yet. maybe they weren't too far from trying.
but then he stares. and stares harder, expectant that something else would happen. when realization slowly begins to creep into him, so did the increasing frown in the stretching silence. that. wait, that's a toilet. ]
[who indeed? spinning in place is strange enough for the gem, and someone deciding to set this to music was what had caught her her attention in the first place, but the fact of the matter is...she has no idea about the function of the appliance the native stone is sitting in. Lapis is a literal rock, and as such - well, it's never been necessary. Homeworld had no interest in organics and so they'd never even researched that kind of thing.
but she can tell something if off from the way that silence stretches between herself and her companion, from the way that Eren's brow keeps pulling down at more and more severe angles. what...what was going on?]
They're...it's what?
[she looks up at him from the video, still looping endlessly, expression clearly mystified. there's the small chance that a little blue alien simply has never encountered the obscenity 'shit' before, but something about her total bafflement...no. there can be no illusions about what she doesn't know.]
[ listen— lapis was patient with him not knowing advanced technology until now, he wasn't going to be an asshole about not knowing what this is, essentially, since she did mention something about being a rock. rocks don't need to take a shit.
too bad he has to break it to her and there's no other way to. ]
It's where humans go to the bathroom. When we eat and drink, that's where the rest goes.
Lapis had been taken on an impromptu tour of Beach City, once. it felt like ages ago now, but it had also been the happiest memory she'd been granted since the rebellion had started - still was, really, if she's being honest with herself. she knows in the vaguest sense that humans needed to consume outside sources to power their forms, but she'd thought - well, why shouldn't she have? not using every part of that power source just felt inefficient and stupid.
but now that she's thinking about it, really thinking about it, she considers the logistics of human anatomy. it would take too much of that newly formed energy for the waste to be regurgitated back out the hole it had come in from, right? that was two whole circuits of the body. which meant that there had to be an exit hole instead. and the most logical place for such a thing was........................]
[Lapis turns and delicately presses the communicator back into Eren's hands. her touch is very gentle, with the sort of restrained composure that belies the great shrieking internal scream threatening to consume her entire body. she is wickedly careful not to actually make contact with her companion's skin now. oh, god. she was going to have to decontaminate every inch of herself after this was over.]
No thanks.
[just. thank you, but no. you can stop taking shits now, that is completely unnecessary.]
[ she's got it. lol. eren takes his device back and observes her reaction to its very bloom. ah, yes. the wonders of a working digestive tract. ]
We don't shit from our hands, you know. [ you're supposed to wash, too— and eren, of all people under levi's command, has learned to put hygiene on practically the number one priority when survival hadn't taken its place. ] You wash after.
[ there might be a little curve shaping his lips at her reaction. it's so subtle that it might not be so recognizable, but at least it wasn't a frown. probably a similarity when she was smiling about educating him on technology. was endearing the word? hm, ]
[from - that hadn't even been what had prompted her careful lack of touch, but now the thought is wedged in her head with as much force as an actual cannon blast of shit from some stupid human's palm and not matter what she does Lapis cannot get it out. she shakes her head, maybe a little to violently, hair flapping in the artificial breeze as she attempts to physically dislodge this awful mental image.]
Why - something like that shouldn't stick!
[could abject horror really be endearing to anyone? ...well, maybe a little. for as ancient and unknowable as the gem appears to be most of the time, there was something charmingly youthful about the scandalized look she was sending Eren's way now.
please. please say psych and tell her that this awful process of organic beings didn't also necessitate that the waste product cling to your ass.]
[ if eren were even remotely mischievous (maybe later in the month), he would keep this going in worse places. he would keep pulling her leg and make shit jokes, but he doesn't feel as much pleasure in the thought. only that this was, yes, endearing in its own way, but he's had his fair share of it. he doesn't want her to feel nauseous around him now. ]
You have to hope it doesn't. [ ......... it's either the remains of dry humor or he's just actually being dead serious. because, you see, there are all types of shits! but with that, though, he'll leave her to bleach her thoughts as much as she'd like to get around how gross humans are. ] I'll contact you once I'm settled or if I see anything related to Malachite. Until then, [ he inclines his head and adjusts his fedora. ] hang low and keep in touch.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
That one?
[the hell does she look like, a technician gem? well, considering that the person asking was a human...she probably did. the thought's amusing, like having a toddler mistake you for a princess just because your dress was fancy; Lapis even provides a half-smile without realizing as she does her best to explain.]
It's an information database - although it looks like they merged it with communications on this one.
[she taps the icon to activate it, indicating with one of her delicate fingers the search bar on the default homescreen.]
If you need to know something, just type it in here and you'll probably get an answer. But...anyone can add to it, so some of the stuff that shows up is kind of weird.
[Lapis has been going over her communicator with a fine tooth comb since receiving it, so she knows exactly what to pull up as an example. a few taps in the browser brings them to an extremely bizarre video featuring a native gem, posted to a sharing site with no apparent context and extreme popularity.
her gaze shifts up to Eren, clearly as mystified as she expects him to be. yeah, it's...yeah. don't ask her to explain this one because she doesn't have a goddamn clue.]
...there's a lot like this.
no subject
when the video comes up, eren's firstly perplexed because it's a video. photos, sure, but moving pictures were another level not even the rest of the world had reached yet. maybe they weren't too far from trying.
but then he stares. and stares harder, expectant that something else would happen. when realization slowly begins to creep into him, so did the increasing frown in the stretching silence. that. wait, that's a toilet. ]
. . . They're spinning in shit.
[ who.......... who would do this ]
i hate this I'M SAYING IT HERE TOO
but she can tell something if off from the way that silence stretches between herself and her companion, from the way that Eren's brow keeps pulling down at more and more severe angles. what...what was going on?]
They're...it's what?
[she looks up at him from the video, still looping endlessly, expression clearly mystified. there's the small chance that a little blue alien simply has never encountered the obscenity 'shit' before, but something about her total bafflement...no. there can be no illusions about what she doesn't know.]
you're WELCOME
too bad he has to break it to her and there's no other way to. ]
It's where humans go to the bathroom. When we eat and drink, that's where the rest goes.
TAKE IT BACK 1/2
Lapis had been taken on an impromptu tour of Beach City, once. it felt like ages ago now, but it had also been the happiest memory she'd been granted since the rebellion had started - still was, really, if she's being honest with herself. she knows in the vaguest sense that humans needed to consume outside sources to power their forms, but she'd thought - well, why shouldn't she have? not using every part of that power source just felt inefficient and stupid.
but now that she's thinking about it, really thinking about it, she considers the logistics of human anatomy. it would take too much of that newly formed energy for the waste to be regurgitated back out the hole it had come in from, right? that was two whole circuits of the body. which meant that there had to be an exit hole instead. and the most logical place for such a thing was........................]
no subject
[Lapis turns and delicately presses the communicator back into Eren's hands. her touch is very gentle, with the sort of restrained composure that belies the great shrieking internal scream threatening to consume her entire body. she is wickedly careful not to actually make contact with her companion's skin now. oh, god. she was going to have to decontaminate every inch of herself after this was over.]
No thanks.
[just. thank you, but no. you can stop taking shits now, that is completely unnecessary.]
no subject
We don't shit from our hands, you know. [ you're supposed to wash, too— and eren, of all people under levi's command, has learned to put hygiene on practically the number one priority when survival hadn't taken its place. ] You wash after.
[ there might be a little curve shaping his lips at her reaction. it's so subtle that it might not be so recognizable, but at least it wasn't a frown. probably a similarity when she was smiling about educating him on technology. was endearing the word? hm, ]
no subject
Why - something like that shouldn't stick!
[could abject horror really be endearing to anyone? ...well, maybe a little. for as ancient and unknowable as the gem appears to be most of the time, there was something charmingly youthful about the scandalized look she was sending Eren's way now.
please. please say psych and tell her that this awful process of organic beings didn't also necessitate that the waste product cling to your ass.]
no subject
You have to hope it doesn't. [ ......... it's either the remains of dry humor or he's just actually being dead serious. because, you see, there are all types of shits! but with that, though, he'll leave her to bleach her thoughts as much as she'd like to get around how gross humans are. ] I'll contact you once I'm settled or if I see anything related to Malachite. Until then, [ he inclines his head and adjusts his fedora. ] hang low and keep in touch.