[ listen— lapis was patient with him not knowing advanced technology until now, he wasn't going to be an asshole about not knowing what this is, essentially, since she did mention something about being a rock. rocks don't need to take a shit.
too bad he has to break it to her and there's no other way to. ]
It's where humans go to the bathroom. When we eat and drink, that's where the rest goes.
Lapis had been taken on an impromptu tour of Beach City, once. it felt like ages ago now, but it had also been the happiest memory she'd been granted since the rebellion had started - still was, really, if she's being honest with herself. she knows in the vaguest sense that humans needed to consume outside sources to power their forms, but she'd thought - well, why shouldn't she have? not using every part of that power source just felt inefficient and stupid.
but now that she's thinking about it, really thinking about it, she considers the logistics of human anatomy. it would take too much of that newly formed energy for the waste to be regurgitated back out the hole it had come in from, right? that was two whole circuits of the body. which meant that there had to be an exit hole instead. and the most logical place for such a thing was........................]
[Lapis turns and delicately presses the communicator back into Eren's hands. her touch is very gentle, with the sort of restrained composure that belies the great shrieking internal scream threatening to consume her entire body. she is wickedly careful not to actually make contact with her companion's skin now. oh, god. she was going to have to decontaminate every inch of herself after this was over.]
No thanks.
[just. thank you, but no. you can stop taking shits now, that is completely unnecessary.]
[ she's got it. lol. eren takes his device back and observes her reaction to its very bloom. ah, yes. the wonders of a working digestive tract. ]
We don't shit from our hands, you know. [ you're supposed to wash, too— and eren, of all people under levi's command, has learned to put hygiene on practically the number one priority when survival hadn't taken its place. ] You wash after.
[ there might be a little curve shaping his lips at her reaction. it's so subtle that it might not be so recognizable, but at least it wasn't a frown. probably a similarity when she was smiling about educating him on technology. was endearing the word? hm, ]
[from - that hadn't even been what had prompted her careful lack of touch, but now the thought is wedged in her head with as much force as an actual cannon blast of shit from some stupid human's palm and not matter what she does Lapis cannot get it out. she shakes her head, maybe a little to violently, hair flapping in the artificial breeze as she attempts to physically dislodge this awful mental image.]
Why - something like that shouldn't stick!
[could abject horror really be endearing to anyone? ...well, maybe a little. for as ancient and unknowable as the gem appears to be most of the time, there was something charmingly youthful about the scandalized look she was sending Eren's way now.
please. please say psych and tell her that this awful process of organic beings didn't also necessitate that the waste product cling to your ass.]
[ if eren were even remotely mischievous (maybe later in the month), he would keep this going in worse places. he would keep pulling her leg and make shit jokes, but he doesn't feel as much pleasure in the thought. only that this was, yes, endearing in its own way, but he's had his fair share of it. he doesn't want her to feel nauseous around him now. ]
You have to hope it doesn't. [ ......... it's either the remains of dry humor or he's just actually being dead serious. because, you see, there are all types of shits! but with that, though, he'll leave her to bleach her thoughts as much as she'd like to get around how gross humans are. ] I'll contact you once I'm settled or if I see anything related to Malachite. Until then, [ he inclines his head and adjusts his fedora. ] hang low and keep in touch.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
you're WELCOME
too bad he has to break it to her and there's no other way to. ]
It's where humans go to the bathroom. When we eat and drink, that's where the rest goes.
TAKE IT BACK 1/2
Lapis had been taken on an impromptu tour of Beach City, once. it felt like ages ago now, but it had also been the happiest memory she'd been granted since the rebellion had started - still was, really, if she's being honest with herself. she knows in the vaguest sense that humans needed to consume outside sources to power their forms, but she'd thought - well, why shouldn't she have? not using every part of that power source just felt inefficient and stupid.
but now that she's thinking about it, really thinking about it, she considers the logistics of human anatomy. it would take too much of that newly formed energy for the waste to be regurgitated back out the hole it had come in from, right? that was two whole circuits of the body. which meant that there had to be an exit hole instead. and the most logical place for such a thing was........................]
no subject
[Lapis turns and delicately presses the communicator back into Eren's hands. her touch is very gentle, with the sort of restrained composure that belies the great shrieking internal scream threatening to consume her entire body. she is wickedly careful not to actually make contact with her companion's skin now. oh, god. she was going to have to decontaminate every inch of herself after this was over.]
No thanks.
[just. thank you, but no. you can stop taking shits now, that is completely unnecessary.]
no subject
We don't shit from our hands, you know. [ you're supposed to wash, too— and eren, of all people under levi's command, has learned to put hygiene on practically the number one priority when survival hadn't taken its place. ] You wash after.
[ there might be a little curve shaping his lips at her reaction. it's so subtle that it might not be so recognizable, but at least it wasn't a frown. probably a similarity when she was smiling about educating him on technology. was endearing the word? hm, ]
no subject
Why - something like that shouldn't stick!
[could abject horror really be endearing to anyone? ...well, maybe a little. for as ancient and unknowable as the gem appears to be most of the time, there was something charmingly youthful about the scandalized look she was sending Eren's way now.
please. please say psych and tell her that this awful process of organic beings didn't also necessitate that the waste product cling to your ass.]
no subject
You have to hope it doesn't. [ ......... it's either the remains of dry humor or he's just actually being dead serious. because, you see, there are all types of shits! but with that, though, he'll leave her to bleach her thoughts as much as she'd like to get around how gross humans are. ] I'll contact you once I'm settled or if I see anything related to Malachite. Until then, [ he inclines his head and adjusts his fedora. ] hang low and keep in touch.